Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.