Worst Jokes Ever
9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.
It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.