Worst Jokes Ever
What is green and blue?
Grass and the sky.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
Plz like.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
I once got raped. I was asking for it though.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!