Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
"Hee hee touched me."
What do you call a retard with a boner? A slowpoke.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.