Worst Jokes Ever
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."