Worst Jokes Ever
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn't see that well.
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
"Hee hee touched me."
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.