Worst Jokes Ever
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
My ex.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Where did Suzy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(