Worst Jokes Ever

Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"You're too young to smoke."

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.

If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.

My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?

A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"