Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.

Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."

Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."

Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."

  • 4

    • I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.

    A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

    What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.

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    • Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

    Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

    Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

    Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

    Students: Eggs.

    Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

    Kids: Bacon.

    Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

    Kids: Homework.

    A penis has a sad life.

    His hair is a mess.

    His family is nuts.

    His neighbor is an asshole.

    His best friend is a pussy.

    And his owner beats him.

    I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

    Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.