Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy