Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?

His head and shoulders.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

Nessie is dying.

What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?

"Kinder Egg surprise."

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?

He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.

I like dildos.

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.