Worst Jokes Ever
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
I like dildos.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?