Worst Jokes Ever
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.