Worst Jokes Ever

I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then, she asked me flirtatiously,

"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet."

She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,

"Mom, are you still awake?"

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.

I hate likebeggars. They are just writing some stupid "like if" shit just to get attention. I mean, that's so lazy, so unoriginal, and stupid.

Anyways, can this get 100 likes, please?

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

What is the difference between my dad’s generation and my generation of women?

He had Wonder Woman, and I have to wonder if it’s a woman.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.

Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.

I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!