Worst Jokes Ever
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
I have a funny joke: my life.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.