Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
I love eggs!
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?
Epic gamer.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.
Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.