Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.
I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.