Best Jokes - Page 277 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...

WAITTTT WHATTT

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?

Nah, it's too cheesy.

Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?

He wanted to eat ahead of the others.

What can't orphans do?

Be homosexual because they have no home.

What does a gay horse eat?

Haaaaaaay!

What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?

Look at that dino-sour!

I have a horse named Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."