Worst Jokes Ever
Every size bag of chips is a family size for orphans.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
If you read this, you lost your v card.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
You really put the R in special.
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"
But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.