Worst Jokes Ever
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."