Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: What does a chicken give you?

Student: An egg!

Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework!

Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?

Because it has a million degrees.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."

"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."

"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

I have a girlfriend.

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

Why can't orphans have iPhones?

Because they can't find the home button.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

If aliens were real,

then orphans would finally have a home.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples actually get picked.

Mother got shot, damn.

Father got shot, damn.

Sister got shot, damn.

Brother got shot, damn.

Auntie running away with a shotgun!

Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?

A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).

He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.