Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

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  • I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

    — Steven Wright

    Teacher: What does a chicken give you?

    Student: An egg!

    Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?

    Student: Homework!

    Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

    A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

    My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

    When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

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  • A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."

    "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."

    "Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

    There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

    The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

    The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

    The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

    The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

    A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

    The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.