Mute

Mute Jokes

Rape

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

Sally

Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.

Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.

Aid

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

Rape

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Orphan

What do orphans have in common with mute children?

They can't talk to their parents.

Rape

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

Dog

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

Orphan

What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

Ex

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

Man

A disabled man stands up.

A blind man says, "You can stand?"

A deaf man says, "You can see?"

A mute person says, "You can hear?"

The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

Kid

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

Man

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

Kid

*in the hospital*

Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

*walks out the room*

Blind kid: You can walk?!

Mute kid: You can see?!

Deaf kid: You can talk?!

Doctor: Wut the f**k?