Worst Jokes Ever

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

Why is a priest different from acne?

Acne waits to come on your face.

I heard a joke about chocolate.

It wasn’t that funny.

I just Snicker-ed.

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

What do mermaids wash their fins with?

Tide.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

Did you hear about that Muslim party?

It was a blast!

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

Imagine not having parents. Lol.

Why does America suck at chess?

They lost two towers.

My dad killed Hitler.

I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.