What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
