Worst Jokes Ever

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?

Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

A man walks into a bar.

He had to have 13 stitches!

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it's pointless.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.