Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.