Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
My anus smells.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.