Worst Jokes Ever
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.