Worst Jokes Ever

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.

Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

Hoi!

Why did the sped kid get expelled?

Because he was tardy.

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

Why are dogs different than orphans?

Because dogs don't cry for their parents.

When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.