Worst Jokes Ever
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t have a home to go to.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.