Worst Jokes Ever

What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?

"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

Magitat?

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

"You cannot win a war without a war."

-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*

Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

asdf.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?

The guy that gave it to him.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.