Worst Jokes Ever
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Why am I so sad?
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
My whole life.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.