Worst Jokes Ever

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

I was going to think of a good amputee joke...

But I’m stumped.

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?

Tourists.

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.

A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.

She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”

“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.

“Exactly,” replied the mom.

What do you call a gay French man?

A faguette!

Why is suicide illegal?

Because it destroys government property.

Politics.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.