Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
I'm weird.
My gamer tag is TheBigAut.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
What's orphans' favorite game? Housekeeping.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why do orphans love blowjobs?
Because they actually get kissed!
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why don't orphans rob the bank?
Because they're not wanted.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.