Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.