Worst Jokes Ever
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
Why can't orphans complete homework?
Because they have no home!
Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.
"Peppa Pig"-like pandemics.
My mom told me to get a job, so I did.
One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.
My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Hey guys! Ello here with an update!
I know I haven't been doing a lot of jokes lately, so I will make sure to do that, but I have something to say! I am going to Disneyland today!! So here is the plan. Today we are going to leave around 2 and go to Downtown Disney for dinner and check into our hotel and stuff like that. Then we are going to wake up bright and early tomorrow and go to Disneyland and stay 'til midnight, and then on Monday we are going to California Adventure! I am missing school on Monday! I'm so excited! And don't worry, I will make sure to tell you guys all about it when we get back. Love y'all!
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
"Hold my beer, watch this."
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.