Worst Jokes Ever
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Big
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."