Worst Jokes Ever
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Make like a drum and beat it!
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.