Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
My parents love me.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."