Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."