Worst Jokes Ever
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Ariana Grande
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
What's Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rowling.
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.