Worst Jokes Ever

Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"

I like unicorns.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!

What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?

- Kelp!

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?

Because he’s a hoot.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Why did the MOSFET go to jail?

It had a charge for battery.

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh!

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

How do spiders reach the internet?

Through the World Wide Web!

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.