Worst Jokes Ever
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
May.
I feel like the Twin Towers, I’m broken.
Why can’t Chinese people have a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.