Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
May.