Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.