Worst Jokes Ever
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”