Worst Jokes Ever
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.