Worst Jokes Ever
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.