Worst Jokes Ever
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"