Worst Jokes Ever
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What is yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.