Worst Jokes Ever
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
No scope, bitch!
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?
A: She hit an ambulance.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.
What do you call a Mexican with no car?
Carlos.