Worst Jokes Ever
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.