Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, it ran because it was running from KFC.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.