Worst Jokes Ever
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Stop copying each other, fucking losers!