Worst Jokes Ever
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
Osama bin Laden rated America.
He gave us a 9/11.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.