Worst Jokes Ever
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.