Worst Jokes Ever
Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Jesus was drinking when he made you.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.