Worst Jokes Ever

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.

Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.

The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.