Worst Jokes Ever
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.