Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.