Worst Jokes Ever
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.