Worst Jokes Ever
One time I ate a chair.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.