Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
I'm fucking retarded.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.