Worst Jokes Ever

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.

She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"