Worst Jokes Ever
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
Yo mama so stupid, her favorite color is clear.
Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?