Worst Jokes Ever
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"