Worst Jokes Ever
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
These are as weak as the towers.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"
Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Why aren't blind people in Brazil?
Because they can only read Braille. 🇧🇷 🙄
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.