Worst Jokes Ever

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.

Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered six offender.

Wow, why so many of the same joke?

A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.

What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.

Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D

Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?

Because he's dead.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

[pause] You said you’d never forget.

What is Thanos's favorite video game?

Pokémon Snap.

Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.