Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.