Worst Jokes Ever
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.