Worst Jokes Ever
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?
BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
Your fat!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
How do fish get to school?
On a octobus.
Lol.