Worst Jokes Ever
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.