Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.